Pill Bugs And Other Gifts From Our Children

Originally published on February 26, 2016 on http://mommydrinkswineandswears.com/


I came home from school in the fourth grade and presented my mother with a self-portrait clay figurine, complete with my favorite blue dress and long blonde hair.  It fit in the palm of her hand. My sister gave her a shiny and expressive black and white tuxedo cat. We proudly beamed and our mother cried as she prominently placed them on a shelf in the living room.

On every gift-giving occasion, my kids ask me what I want, to which I always respond, “Make me something!”

They roll their eyes and say, “No, REALLY!”

“Yes, REALLY!” And I really, really mean it. Continue reading

DMV or Enema? Enema, Please!

My stomach is already in knots. Thomas and I are headed to the Arleta DMV for his 8:00 AM driving test. I choke up as he quietly lists his “rules of the road” while merging onto the 170 freeway. He is sixteen and already the best (unlicensed) driver I’ve ever ridden with, but there is still a whirling dervish in my belly.

It took us over two months to book this appointment. We tried the online route, only to discover Thomas’ license number and/or information was “invalid,” so we called the “help” line. Try that sometime when you’re bored, have nothing but time and a real hankering for the sound of a ringing phone. It’s fun.

Next we get a visit to the “no-appointment” line at the DMV, yay!

Walking Dead Line Continue reading